Hattarino's so Cute!
by Hitteh Pitteh
Summary: Hitteh Pitteh the magically magical magician was simply baking a cake when..... Qwnyah? Do the ingredients usually come to life? A silly fanfic that I made just to have some fun.
1. Chapter 1: First Meetings Part 1

**Author's Note: **This is an unusual story because the author, HITTEH PITTEH, is in it! You won't get to see any of the characters but Hattarino...And the story itself has no point; it was just made to have fun!

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. DON'T READ THIS IF YOU DON'T LIKE THESE KINDS OF STORIES!

**Hattarino is so cute!**

**Chapter one: First Meetings (Part One)**

**Dislaimer: **BWAAAAA! I wish I owned Goemon... but I don't...

Hitteh Pitteh the magically magical magician brushed a layer of powdery flour off the messy index card, wondering why baking a cake was so hard. Perhaps it was because the recipe scrawled on the worn card was almost impossible to read. Or perhaps it was because magically magical magicians NEVER baked cakes. I mean, they could create them out of thin air! So what was the point of scraping your hands on cooking utensils, or searching everywhere for a simple recipe in order to waste time baking a cake!

But Hitteh Pitteh WASN'T like most magically magical magicians. For one thing, she was only four feet, five inches tall (four feet, twelve inches with her wizard's hat on). For another, she wore nerdy, swirly glasses and a loose blue wizard's cloak and a tall, pointed hat with the typical star/moon patterns that were both nearly eight sizes too big for her. Those had gone out of fashion a LONG time ago. Hitteh Pitteh also had blond hair- instead of the usual gray hair and a beard thing.

And, perhaps the thing that set her apart the most from other magically magical magicians, she wanted to bake a cake all by herself. Just once- for the experience. But it had been hard from the beginning. Hitteh Pitteh had searched far and wide for a simple cake recipe, but hadn't been able to find one. She lived in a large mansion shaped to look like a gigantic pear, after all. Most sane people avoided the place at all costs. The area was DESERTED!

So naturally, a recipe had been hard to find. Hitteh Pitteh had finally hiked all the way down to a tiny bakery, and had paid an immense amount of gold coins to the baker and had received in return his 'Extra Special Recipe' jotted down on a torn index card. By this time, Hitteh Pitteh had begun to wonder if it was really worth all this to simply bake a cake. Yes! OF COURSE it would be worth it!

Once she had arrived back at her comfortable pear-mansion, Hitteh Pitteh had immediately begun to prepare for the baking. With a wave of her hand, she had created an oven, a silver pan, and a wooden spoon. Now... Hitteh Pitteh had read down the list of 'Extra Special Ingredients' and created each one.

Which brings us back to the flour incident. Hitteh Pitteh the magically magical magician brushed a layer of powdery flour off the messy index card, wondering why baking a cake was so hard. I mean, HOW had her bag of flour exploded? Seriously! Bags of flour don't just... explode! Unless...

Maybe her ingredients had been created the wrong way and had somehow turned evil? This had happened once with her rocking chair. One day Hitteh Pitteh had decided that she wanted a rocking chair and had carelessly created one with the usual sweep of a hand. But instead of a rocking chair... she created an EVIL rocking chair. It had teeth and had instantly decided to chase her around the house.

Finally, Hitteh Pitteh had persuaded the chair to be good by offering it candy corn (all magically magical magicians know that evil rocking chairs LOVE candy corn). It was now resting contently in her room (it still had teeth, though). Hitteh Pitteh had decided to name it 'Cahir' (No, not 'chair' misspelled, CAHIR!).

Errgh! We're getting off track again! Anyways, Hitteh Pitteh wondered if she had accidentally created evil ingredients. So she decided to check each one. The sugar tasted fine and it looked like ordinary sugar. The salt whispered, "I love pears" to her, but Hitteh Pitteh had created it so the salt would do that; so whispering salt was ordinary.

But the eggs- something was wrong with the eggs. One of them was trying to escape by bouncing along the counter. Uh-oh! Hitteh Pitteh couldn't bake a cake with a bouncing egg, or else she would bake a bouncing cake! Sneaking up on the egg, Hitteh Pitteh watched in fascination as it danced around the counter. Maybe she could keep this egg as a pet, just like Cahir. Let's see... Evil eggs like...uh...

Darn! Hitteh Pitteh couldn't remember the lesson on what evil eggs liked! So how was she going to persuade the egg to behave itself! And now she was going to have to make ANOTHER egg to take this one's place in the cake mix. Wiping some of the flour off of her swirly glasses, Hitteh Pitteh decided to try and communicate with the egg.

"Hi!" Hitteh Pitteh whispered timidly, placing her cupped hands on the flour coated counter. She hoped that the egg would hop into her awaiting hands. Then she could easily make friends with it.

Huh! When Hitteh Pitteh stopped daydreaming of being best friends with the egg and focused her attention back on the situation, she noticed that the egg was now swiftly hopping up and down and emitting puffs of green smoke. Oooooh... Interesting!

Hitteh Pitteh watched as the egg began to spin rapidly around and finally was covered in a cloud of green smoke. Hitteh Pitteh ducked under the counter, realizing that the egg would probably explode. She waited and waited for the sound of an exploding egg, but it never came...

Curiosity getting the better of her, Hitteh Pitteh hesitantly peeked over the counter and gasped at the sight that greeted her. The egg had grown maybe five times of the size it was before. It had green hair... and eyes...? Eyes! The egg had eyes! And not only eyes, but a mouth with a long stick protruding from it, a green samurai-ish outfit, and a SWORD!

"D-d-d-dangerous..." Hitteh Pitteh managed to choke, her eyes still on the sword. Then, even more surprisingly, the egg jerked slightly in a polite bow.

"My name is Hattarino. Pleased to meet you!" The egg greeted, the stick in his mouth wiggling as he spoke.

**End Note: **DUN DUN! DUND DUUUUN! That was the first Chapter... (Obviously)

Uh... well... I don't have much to say! Just... TO BE CONTINUED!


	2. Chapter 2: First Meetings Part 2

**Author's Note: **DUN DUN DUN! I was checking the spelling of Hattarino's name and found out that it is only spelled 'Hatarino' in the English credits. Therefore, I will spell his name the good, Japanese way: 'Hattarino'.

**Hattarino is so cute!**

**Chapter Two: First Meetings (Part Two)**

**Disclaimer: **Hattarino and GANBARE GOEMON are NOT mine. But the character Hitteh Pitteh IS!

"My name is Hattarino. Pleased to meet you!" The egg greeted, the stick in his mouth wiggling as he spoke. Hitteh Pitteh would have usually been very interested in what an adorable little egg's name was, but she wasn't this time. She was still trying to figure out how she had created an egg that had turned into a samurai... and why it was TALKING to her! Talking salt was no big deal, but a talking egg- with a SWORD- hoooo boy!

"Hatta... Hatta... Hatta?" Hitteh Pitteh stammered, her eyes behind her pair of swirly glasses widening.

"Hat-ta-ri-no!" The egg repeated slowly, then added, "by the way, where exactly is this place?" Hitteh Pitteh slowly calmed down as she listened to the egg's voice. Besides the sword, Hattarino- or whatever- was actually pretty cute once you got used to him.

"Hattarino..." Hitteh Pitteh repeated doubtfully, stopping her shivering and paying close attention to Hattarino's words. Then, realizing the other part of his sentence, she added, "And this is... my house!"

"Hmmmmm..." Hattarino made an irresistibly cute humming noise as he scanned the area, "How did I get here?"

"Uhm... I don't exactly know," Hitteh Pitteh answered truthfully, flicking a mound of flour absentmindedly. And it was true. Hitteh Pitteh had often seen evil objects like Cahir when she tried to create objects, but never one that transformed into a samurai-thingie! What could have happened! Hitteh Pitteh couldn't think of any theory that made sense. Unless...

"Uhm...uh... Maybe I summoned you?" She suggested feebly, watching the never-changing expression on Hattarino's face. She could swear that that egg was getting cuter every second, though. Hitteh Pitteh would have given him a hug if she wasn't so afraid of cracking him.

"It's weird here..." murmured Hattarino, still staring at his surroundings. Hitteh Pitteh felt slightly angry. It was NOT weird. She spent a good five minutes of her day cleaning the place with magic, and if it weren't for the blanket of flour covering the area, it would have looked very nice! That was probably it. The flour DID look kind of like a strange coat of powdery snow or something. Hopefully THAT was what Hattarino thought was weird.

"Oh! Would you like to continue this conversation somewhere... less weird?" Hitteh Pitteh asked, after noticing that Hattarino's sandaled feet were half-buried in a pile of flour. She hastily decided that it would be best not to use magic in front of her guest just yet. Hattarino jerked his head to signal that he would like to.

Yay! Hitteh Pitteh was overjoyed that she finally had an excuse to hold the egg. Hattarino was surprisingly warm, exactly like a living creature. This meant that he definitely not an 'evil' object like Cahir. But what could that mean? That she really HAD summoned him somehow? Even Hitteh Pitteh wasn't an experienced enough magically magical magician to summon living creatures yet. Was she getting better?

Carrying Hattarino, Hitteh Pitteh pondered which room would be best to sort this out. She finally decided on the comfy room that she used to study magic and watch TV. Hattarino looked very impressed when he saw the comfy, enormous relaxing room.

"Well, here we are," Hitteh Pitteh announced, reluctant to let go of the adorable little egg. Hattarino hopped out of her arms gracefully and landed with a soft thump on the puffiest couch.

"So, still no idea how I got here?" questioned Hattarino, twirling the sword point-down on one of his fingers. It looked sharp. Very, very sharp.

"STOP! THAT'S SO DANGEROUS!" Hitteh Pitteh screamed, forgetting his cuteness completely. She dashed over to him and knocked the blade off of his finger. It clattered uselessly to the floor.

"Why?" Hattarino asked, staring in confusion at his fallen sword.

"BECAUSE SWORDS MAKE PEOPLE BLEED! BLOOD IS DANGEROUS!" Hitteh Pitteh screamed, dashing around the room in a frenzied circle.

"Okay..." Hattarino obediently retrieved his sword from the ground and strapped back in the diagonal position on his back with a dejected expression on his face. Hitteh Pitteh let out a long, relieved sigh, grateful that the danger had passed. She had always been terrified when it came to sharp objects.

"So, no idea how I got here, or how to send me back to where I was?" Hattarino asked, looking as if he was tempted to begin twirling his sword again. Luckily, he decided against it. Hitteh Pitteh pushed back one of the flowing sleeves of her wizard's robe before continuing. The sleeve had been completely covering one of her hands, making it impossible to move her hand. Hitteh Pitteh made a mental note to buy a set of wizard's robes that actually fit sometime in the near future.

"Uhm... Not exactly," Hitteh Pitteh answered meekly once she had finished fidgeting with her sleeve.

"Not much of a wizard, are you? Can't even send me back..." Hattarino commented in his adorable voice. Ouch. That hurt. If Hattarino wasn't a chibi-fied egg creature that was absolutely charming, Hitteh Pitteh might have fed him to Cahir (though Cahir normally was satisfied with candy corn, he craved blood at times, so Hitteh Pitteh usually fed him salesmen or rude guests).

"I know a few tricks... like...uh... WATCH THIS!" Hitteh Pitteh cried, sweeping her hand in a straight line through the air. A bulging sack of flour appeared out of thin air- and immediately exploded. Hattarino used a puffy cushion to shield himself from the rain of powdery, white flour.

"Darn! I've always had a problem with flour..." Hitteh Pitteh muttered, not even attempting to stop the flour from coating her from head to toe. Now she had TWO rooms that she'd have to clean up later on. Not to mention that she had failed her attempt to impress her guest, and had instead made herself look even more useless.

"So, you can't send me back... so what exactly am I going to do? I have no idea what this area is like," Hattarino continued, shaking flour from one of his sandals.

"Wellllll..." Hitteh Pitteh bit her lip as she thought about this. Finally, it hit her. "You can stay here with me!" It was a perfect idea. Hitteh Pitteh had become lonley with only a biting rocking chair for company. Even though Hattarino was on the painfully blunt side, he still looked as if he would prove to be an interesting source of conversation.

"Here... with you?" Hattarino thought aloud. Hitteh Pitteh had thought that it would take him a long time to decide this, but his answer actually came quite quickly. "I guess so... I don't really have any other choice..." Hattarino murmured.

"'Kay then! Welcome to the family, Hattarino!" Hitteh Pitteh exclaimed, deciding that this was another good excuse to hug him.

**End Note: **Wahoo! Chapter 2 is DONE! I'm getting gradually lazier as the days go by, but I'll try to update this soon.

**Response to Reviewers: **

_kuro-tanuki: _Yes! Yay for Cahir! He (yes, it's a MALE evil rocking chair) will be in the story a little bit more... and I totally agree, WE NEED MORE GOEMON FICS! This fic will probably be about ten chapters- and after this one, I might attempt another one. Maybe...

_Yexis Metallium: _Yus, Yus! If you ever meet an evil chair, you must give it candy corn. ALWAYS carry some with you! Meh heh heh... I know for a fact that Hattarino's going to be OOC throughout this whole fic... I'm glad you don't mind. OH MY GOSH! GIVE ME THOSE BACK! steals robe and hat back I know that they're cool, but that still gives you no excuse to steal them! It's unjust! x 


	3. Chapter 3: The Weird House of a Magician

**Hattarino is so cute!**

**Chapter Three: The Weird House of a Magician! **

**Disclaimer: **WAAAAAAAAH! I wish that the little egg, Hattarino, was mine to play with- but he isn't... Hitteh Pitteh, however, is!

"So, you're a magician? Like, not just an ordinary wizard- but a magically magical magician?" asked Hattarino, watching with an impressed expression as Hitteh Pitteh worked on cleaning the flour-covered rooms.

"Exactly! I may not know how to send you back- but I am truly a magically magical magician. They are on such a higher level then your average wizard or whatever," Hitteh Pitteh assured him, glad that the conversation was finally turning onto her side. Up until now, the whole conversation had been kind of insulting to her.

_(**Curtains are drawn back to reveal pear girl Miki-Chan and chibi Yae-chan**_

_Miki-Chan: Ack! What is all this junk about wizards and magicians! Who wrote this! It's confusing..._

_Yae-Chan: Actually, I believe YOU wrote it..._

_Miki-Chan: Huh. That's weird... _

_Yae-Chan: Well aren't you going to explain all of this wizard stuff before you confuse our readers?_

_Miki-Chan: Right. Okay... **pulls a gigantic book out of one of her kimono sleeves and opens it to a bookmarked page **Let's see...What? What the heck is this? I don't remember writing all of this!_

_Yae-Chan: But the title is 'Miki-Chan's Confusing Explanations'! You had to have written this!_

_Miki-Chan: But I didn't write it!_

_Yae-Chan: Yes, you did!_

_Miki-Chan: No I- Ah! Wait! This is Hattarino's handwriting! So it was him... that little trickster! He's the one who wrote all this stuff about wizards!_

_Yae-Chan: Well... Aren't you still going to read it?_

_Miki-Chan: Qwnyah! I can't read something that I didn't write! It's impossible!_

_Yae-Chan: But everyone is so confused about that wizard stuff!_

_Miki-Chan: Guess I have no choice..._

_Yae-Chan: That's the spirit!_

_Miki-Chan: Alrighty then... 'Wizards are the lowest level of these magic users. They wear the moon/ star clothes and stay in large groups and practice magic together. When they graduate they become magicians and wear these different outfit thingies but they still have to live and work at the school. But then finally after they master their skills they become 'magically magical magicians' and can live independently!' What the heck! That was the most horrible writing I've ever read!_

_Yae-Chan: And it didn't make much sense... I think that we should just delete the above sentences about wizards and continue with the story..._

_Miki-Chan: sounds good to me!_

_**Bars close over the actual story, blocking the two of them out**_

_Miki-Chan: Darn it! Scratch that idea!_

_Yae-Chan: Argh! Now this is soooo confusing! _

_Hitteh Pitteh: Ahem! It's time to get back to the story!_

_Miki-Chan: Uh... right._

_Yae-Chan: Yeah..._

_**The curtains close and the story continues** )_

"Wow. Not bad. But why are you wearing wizard's robes then? Don't magicians wear like, stuff without yellow stars and moons? They look like pajamas!" Hattarino remarked, pointing a chibi-fyed finger at her clothes.

"I...uh... I don't like the magicians' typical clothes," Hitteh Pitteh muttered in embarrassment. So much for the conversation turning to her side! Hitteh Pitteh quickly glanced down at her robes. They did NOT look like pajamas! Shaking her head in frustration, Hitteh Pitteh cleared another patch of flour from the area with a swipe of her hand. Good... this was the last of the flour.

"Well, anyways, what can you make?" Hattarino asked, staring at her curiously.

"Lots of stuff! Almost everything that isn't alive," Hitteh Pitteh answered cheerfully, thinking about what she should create to demonstrate her skills.

"How about steak?" Hattarino asked eagerly. Hitteh Pitteh stopped casting the spell to create a feather duster and stared at her guest.

"Yeah. Like as in the meat kind of steaks? Why?" Hitteh Pitteh asked, curious. She was actually quite good at creating steaks. It had been one of her first assignments.

"I love steaks!" Hattarino exclaimed, getting sparkly-eyed.

"Really? Well then..." Hitteh Pitteh began, revving up a magical wizardy trick. The ball of light forming in her hands exploded and was replaced with a sparkly steak.

"STEAK! STEAK!" Hattarino exclaimed, and happily munched on the steak. Hitteh Pitteh observed that he looked ten times cuter then normal.

"Awwww... Adorable little guy! Have some more!" Hitteh Pitteh squealed, creating more steaks. They tumbled into a little steak-y pile.

"MORE STEAKS!" Hattarino exclaimed and began attacking the pile of steaks hungrily. Hitteh Pitteh decided that while she was busy eating she would prepare his bed for him.

An immense guest room was located next to hers. Hitteh Pitteh realized that Hattarino would practically drown in his bed at the size it was now. So, with a wave of her hand, she reduced the bed to half of its size.

Next, she created a steak-machine. It was a convenient little box with a flashing red button that had 'steaky steaky' inscribed on it. At the press of the button, a steak would pop out of the top of the box.

To make the room even more comfortable for Hattarino, Hitteh Pitteh replaced all the posters of the solar system with nice pictures of dancing eggs. Satisfied, Hitteh Pitteh clunked down the stairs back to where Hattarino was.

Hattarino was just finishing his last steak, when Hitteh Pitteh returned. She eliminated the puddle of steak juice with a snap of her fingers and watched as Hattarino wiped the grease off of the corners of his mouth with the back of his hand.

"All done!" Hattarino sung in his adorable voice.

"Qwnyaaaaaaaah! H-how adorable!" Hitteh Pitteh sobbed, leaping forward in slow motion with her arms outspread and sparkly eyes (er... glasses at least...). Hattarino, oblivious to Hitteh Pitteh's actions, stepped away from her and glanced around the area.

"So, where do I sleep?" Hattarino questioned, shuffling across the floor as he observed the long, recently waxed hallway. Hitteh Pitteh, loosing her balance while in the ridiculous pose, fell to the ground with a crash.

"Wow... this is a huuuuuuge house! I think I'll like it here..." Hattarino marveled, and then continued, "Is my room going to be this bi- Magician-san? Magician-san?" He glanced around in concern. Then, noticing where Hitteh Pitteh lay on the ground, he hopped over to her.

"What the heck are you doing on the floor?" Hattarino asked curiously, prodding the twitching magician with the back end of his sword.

**End Note: **Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! I know that I'm confusing! Don't attack meeeeeeee! **calms down **Ahem! Well, now! Not much happened in that chapter, now did it? I just needed to set the mood for the next nighttime chapter... I originally thought that this story would be ten chapters, but now I'm thinking that it might be more... DUN DUN DUUUUUN! 'Til next time, then!

_**For Le Noice Reviewers:**_

_kuro-tanuki: _Ki ki kiiiiii! I think that Cahir 'twould infact die if he ate Syphiel. I'm planning to give Cahir an appearance next chapter, actually! Sorry if this chapter was... a bit on the boring side. The weirdness of Hitteh Pitteh's magical house 'twill be revealed next chapter! MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHA!

_Yexis Metallium: _Ki ki kiiiii! Hattarino is indeed OOC, but not as much as you think. He isn't EVIL, but as you might have noticed after finishing this chapter, he is QUITE a troublemaker... DUN DUUUUUUUN! I'll try to update sooooooooon teleports awaaaaaay


	4. Chapter 4: Qwnyah? It's Chaos! Part 1

**Hattarino is so Cute!**

**Chapter 4: Qwnyah? It's Chaos! (Part One)**

**Disclaimer: **Hattarino and all of his pals are NOT mine! But Hitteh Pitteh is, so Yay!

Something had to be done about that sword. When Hitteh Pitteh had regained consciousness after a nasty crash landing on the hard ground, the first thing she had seen was the end of Hattarino's sword. Naturally, she had sprung ten feet into the air, screaming bloody murder and had run smack-dab into the ceiling. It had been a painful experience!

At it was all that sharp, annoying sword's fault! So, in the morning, Hitteh Pitteh would find some way to deal with her guest's weapon. But the egg was already settled in his room and so Hitteh Pitteh thought it would be unfair to disturb him. Hitteh Pitteh was about to get settled down herself when a low growling noise interrupted her.

"Oh, sorry Cahir! I forgot that I haven't fed you yet..." Hitteh Pitteh sighed, lazily dragging herself out of bed and setting her oversized swirly glasses over her large blue eyes. She was in pajamas that looked almost identical to her wizard's outfit (minus the hat) except, if this was even possible, even MORE baggy.

Cahir rocked eagerly across the room, ready for his daily meal of candy corn. Hitteh Pitteh did the usual arm-waving, making sure to cast the spell right so she didn't create EVIL candy corns. That was the last thing she needed. Evil candy corns liked shoe boxes, and for some reason Hitteh Pitteh had a lot of trouble creating those.

But luckily, the bucketful of candy corns she created all seemed to be normal. Hitteh Pitteh breathed a long sigh of relief before dumped the whole bucket into Cahir's wide mouth. She still couldn't help but shutter as she stared into the gaping mouth with long, amazingly sharp jaws.

Cahir chewed in contentment rocking back to his usual spot in the corner. Hitteh Pitteh set the bucket by her bedside and removed her swirly glasses. When she was finally settled under her covers, Hitteh Pitteh gestured for the light switch to turn out. Darkness obediently enveloped the room.

Hitteh Pitteh gratefully shut her eyes and wondered what to do about her new guest when morning came. She had never taken care of someone for a length of time. Hattarino didn't seem to be independent, and chances were that he would stay for at least a week. I mean, she had taken care of Cahir, but all the rocking chair needed was a daily dose of candy corn.

The egg would need entertainment and food. Hitteh Pitteh already knew that he liked steak, but had no idea what else he enjoyed. This would be quite a challenge. Even more challenging then baking a cake by hand! But life had been quite dull lately, and Hitteh Pitteh was actually grateful for a bit of work.

Hitteh Pitteh decided that tomorrow morning she would give him a sort of interview to find out things about Hattarino. She closed her eyes and went to dreamland.

OOOOOO

"LIGHTNING STORM!"

"Wha...?" Hitteh Pitteh groaned, groggily opening her nearsighted eyes. It was still dark outside, which meant that Hitteh Pitteh had only gotten a couple hours of sleep. Had it been her imagination, or had someone just screamed 'Lightning Storm'? But she had put a complicated, magical charm over the house to block off rain and lightning. So Hitteh Pitteh voted that it was her imagination.

"LIGHTNING STORM!"

Hitteh Pitteh groaned inwardly. The imagination that yelled 'Lightning Storm', huh? She HAD to do something about her imagination. There was no one else to yell 'Lightning Storm' in the house but her. Cahir only made growling noises. Oh wait! Hitteh Pitteh had forgotten about Hattarino. But why would HE be yelling 'Lightning Storm' at this time of night? Unless...

"Lightning storm! Lightning Storm!" Hattarino squealed, bursting through Hitteh Pitteh's door. So, he was scared of lightning, huh? Very out of character, but cute all the same!

"Hattarino...?" groaned Hitteh Pitteh hoarsely, fumbling around her nightstand for her swirly glasses.

"QWNYAH!" Hattarino yelled as a crack of thunder echoed outside. Wow. This had been the first one that Hitteh Pitteh had heard so far. So, the little guy WAS telling the truth about the lightning storm. How was that possible, though?

"What do after you went into your room?" Hitteh Pitteh sighed in exasperation, slipping one her swirly glasses and adjusting to the darkness.

"Wellllll..." Hattarino suddenly began stalling out his sentences, obviously having done something very BAD after Hitteh Pitteh left him alone in his room.

"Hattarino!" Hitteh Pitteh scolded, giving him an evil glare which he couldn't see in the darkness, "You weren't messing with the canisters of magical charms I keep in the bathroom, were you?" Hitteh Pitteh kept a bunch of cans in the bathroom that trapped the powerful magic spells like the lightning charm inside them. She would have moved them when her new guest had come to stay, but she had forgotten about the cans...

"QWNYAH!" Hattarino leapt into Hitteh Pitteh's bed in fear as thunder cracked through the room once again.

"Hattarino!" Hitteh Pitteh squeaked in shock, rolling off the bed because of the lack of space.

"Sorry!" Hattarino said apologetically, peering over the side of the bed at the fallen magician. Hitteh Pitteh picked herself from the ground and climbed wearily back onto the bed.

"That's okay," she assured him but then added with an evil hint to her voice, "Okay, spill it... which magical charm cans did you break?"

_(**The curtains are pulled back to reveal Miki-Chan and Yae-Chan**_

_Miki-Chan: Now for more 'Confusing Explanations!'_

_Yae-Chan: We both thought that those 'magical charm cans were confusing- so we'd like to explain them to you!_

_Miki-Chan: Yeah! But we promise that we'll be fast, because last time we kinda hogged the chapter!_

_Yae-Chan: Alrighty then..._

_Miki-Chan: **pulls out a familiar thick book **Okay! 'Magical Charm Cans: These cans are not ordinary cans...'_

_Yae-Chan: Everyone knows that!_

_Miki-Chan: I'm just reading what the book says! 'You can pick them up at your local 'magically magical magician department store' and they come in twelve different colors! They are used for-_

_Yae-Chan: What are the colors?_

_Miki-Chan: IT DOESN'T SAY! I didn't write this!_

_Yae-Chan: I thought that you DID!_

_Miki-Chan: Oh yeah... that's right... anyways... ' They are used for storing magical charms. See, when you cast a magical charm to, let's say, make the water in your bathtub ALWAYS run hot, the charm is to powerful just to let free. So you need somewhere strong and handy to store it. So, why not in a can?'_

_Yae-Chan: Or an ohagi!_

_Miki-Chan: Ohagi? Whatever... 'You must NEVER break these cans or the spells will run FREE! And they will also break...'_

_Yae-Chan: Was that all?_

_Miki-Chan: **scans the book** Yeeeeeeeep... that was it. Oh wait! 'the REALLY powerful spells are called 'charms' and the normal ones that don't need to be stored in cans are called 'spells' or 'wizardy tricks'' Yeah. NOW that was all..._

_Yae-Chan: I guess we'd better go then..._

_Miki-Chan: Awwww... I like being in the story! _

_**curtains close and the story continues**)_

Hitteh Pitteh fixed Hattarino with an evil glare, using a spell to turn back on the light so Hattarino could see her this time. The egg hesitated, staring out the window at the bolts of flashing lightning.

"C'mon, Hattarino, it can't be THAT many!" Hitteh Pitteh encouraged.

"All of them," Hattarino sighed reluctantly, fixing Hitteh Pitteh with an 'I'm not joking' stare.

"Whaaaaa...?" Hitteh Pitteh asked, her mouth gaping as she thought of all the trouble this would cause.

**End Note: **DUN DUN DUUUUUUN! Done! With this chapter! Wow. It didn't take me long to update this time! It was sorta a cliffhanger, 'twasn't it? Ah well... I'll try to update soon. And keep myself from appearing- because I think that the little 'Miki-Chan' explanations just confuse everyone. They even confuse ME! ACK!

**Noice Noice Reviewers: **

_kuro-tanuki: _I wove moi house too! joins you in the joy dance Don't ask me what was up with the 'steak-y steak-y' machine- it was just a random idea that I wrote without thinking. But it does sound like a cool invention! And as for Hattarino having fun, he most definitely will! What a cute little egg! squeal

_Yexis Metallium: _Heh heh heh... I don't really have many facts about Hattarino since he's just a happy chibi character. But he DID ask for a steak in that one movie episode. So I just sort of exaggerated it... It wasn't really that the chapter was short, it's just that chap. 2 and this chapter as well are LONG... I average about 1,000 words per chapter. Not that it really matters, I DO update on this story pretty fast. Guh! I'm not sure if I could teach you how to be a magically magical magician... Hitteh Pitteh's scatter-brained to begin with- and I don't think that she could teach someone without... like... killing herself from stress or something...


	5. Chapter 5: Qwnyah? It's Chaos! Part 2

**Hattarino is so cute!**

**Chapter 5: Qwnyah? It's Chaos!**

**Disclaimer: **Once upon a time in a magical land far, far away Hitteh Pitteh-sama owned the series 'Ganbare Goemon' and the adorable little egg, Hattarino. Then, she went back to reality- and better people owned the series instead. Hitteh Pitteh doesn't like reality...

"All of them," Hattarino sighed reluctantly, fixing Hitteh Pitteh with an 'I'm not joking' stare.

"Whaaaaa...?" Hitteh Pitteh asked, her mouth gaping as she thought of all the trouble this would cause. Did that mean that every single one of her magic charms had been broken! They were in danger! The charms had protected her house from Earthquakes, Tornados, and any other evil natural disaster that might strike.

"Oi. Oi. Are you still alive?" Hattarino poked the spaced out Hitteh Pitteh with the tip of his sword, effectively snapping her back to reality.

"WAAAAAAAUGH!" Hitteh Pitteh screamed in surprise, tumbling off the bed. In seconds, she was back on the springy mattress, panting in exhaustion.

"I TOLD you not to do that! You know I hate sharp things! And your sword is a sharp thing! Never poke me again with ANYTHING! Especially something sharp. And something has to be done about your sword. Fwwwwaaaa... I thought I was going to die," Hitteh Pitteh choked in a frightened babble.

"It couldn't be helped. You spaced out in mid-sentence. I thought the shock had killed you," Hattarino explained with a careless shrug of his shoulders. At an evil glare of death from Hitteh Pitteh he hastily slipped the sword back into its case.

"How did you manage to destroy ALL my magical charms?" Hitteh Pitteh asked curiously, changing the subject from sharp objects.

"They just... broke," Hattarino explained, his poker face still on. Darn! Hitteh Pitteh knew he was lying but had no way of telling how the cans containing the charms had all shattered. How long had that little troublemaker been at work?

"Whatever. We have to get the charms-well- I have to get the charms that have gotten loose destroyed and create knew ones and THEN imprison them in cans. GRARGH!" Hitteh Pitteh raved, hopping down from the bed and slipping her feet into fuzzy blue slippers (Yes! My favorite color is blue! With me, EVERYTHING'S blue!).

"What can I do to help?" Hattarino asked, faking an innocent voice. Hitteh Pitteh froze on her way to the door. That troublesome little egg just wanted to help so he could mess things up even MORE.

"Uhm... Why don't you... Why don't..." Hitteh Pitteh searched for a task to keep Hattarino busy.

"Could you get me some more of those cans? They're in the bathroom, in one of the drawers under the sink," Hitteh Pitteh requested, suddenly remembering that she needed the charm cans. She tried to run out the door to get started with the endless work, but was stopped again by Hattarino's words.

"What do they look like?" Hattarino questioned, still looking adorable. Ha! Hitteh Pitteh would NEVER be fooled by his cute looks again. That egg was a little DEVIL in disguise!

"You know what they look like! You broke them!" Hitteh Pitteh roared in frustration, dashing out the door before he could stop her again. Hattarino, the thin green (?) stick still in his mouth, kept the same expression as he began to stroll to the door.

"AND DON'T TOUCH ANY OF THE OTHER CHARMS THAT ARE IN THE MEDICINE BOTTLES!" Hitteh Pitteh warned from downstairs.

"Medicine bottles..." Hattarino chuckled, eagerly rushing to the bathroom. It wasn't that Hattarino was a BAD guy or anything- he just hated boring days. So he naturally loved to add a little excitement. Besides, how could he resist touching the medicine bottles full of charms when Hitteh Pitteh had told him NOT to touch them?

_(**The curtains are pulled back to reveal Miki-Chan and Yae-Chan**_

_Yae-Chan: We shouldn't be doing this... Goemon instructed us NOT to pester the readers!_

_Miki-Chan: Relax. We're not pestering them; we're EXPLAINING things to them._

_Yae-Chan: And that would be PESTERING them since they want to read the interesting story. _

_Miki-Chan: How could I pester anyone? I'm just a great person to be around!_

_Yae-Chan: We'll get in trouble!_

_Miki-Chan: I told you to relax! Here's a script; just read the highlighted part._

_Yae-Chan: Why?_

_Miki-Chan: Just do it!_

_Yae-Chan: 'I'm confused'._

_Miki-Chan: Why? All you have to do is read the script!_

_Yae-Chan: NO! That's what the script says._

_Miki-Chan: Whoops! Sorry! Read that line again!_

_Yae-Chan: 'I'm confused.'_

_Miki-Chan: 'Why are you confused?'_

_Yae-Chan: I JUST TOLD YOU! THAT'S WHAT THE SCRIPT SAYS!_

_Miki-Chan: BUT THAT'S WHAT MY SCRIPT SAYS!_

_Yae-Chan: WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!_

_**The two start throwing ohagi at each other. Ebisumaru slides onto the stage.**_

_Ebisumaru: Nyo-ho-hooo! Since the others are fighting I will have to explain things to you! **Pulls out a certain wittle bookie-wookie **It says here:_

'_I bet you're confused because it said that last chapter ALL of Hitteh Pitteh's magical charms were destroyed. So why does she still have some left? Well... the magical charms that Hattarino destroyed were the ones that block stuff. But the other charms, like, create smoke or lightning and stuff.' _

_This is horrible writing! Who write this?Nyo-ho-hoooo! Who cares! I must go away to eat some ohagi! **dashes off the stage while twirling the pink ribbon**_

_Yae-Chan: The curtains are closing..._

_Miki-Chan: NO WAIT! I HAVEN'T GOTTEN EVEN TIME YET! PLEEEEASE DON'T CLOSE!_

_**curtains close)**_

"Got it!" With a swish Hitteh Pitteh trapped one of the charms under a butterfly net (why it didn't fly through the teeny holes is something that we'll never know). The wild charm (which looked like a sphere of floating glitter) had been causing Hitteh Pitteh quite a bit of trouble, since she actually needed to CATCH it before destroying it.

"Three charms down and about twenty-five to go," Hitteh Pitteh sighed, slicing her hand across the air in a quick motion that caused the charms to explode. Hattarino! When she got her hands one him, she was going to... yeah, right. What COULD she do to someone who looked so darned adorable?

"There's another one!" Hitteh Pitteh charged after another one of the glitter thingies that was flying around the room at top speed.

BANG! (Giant Letters! )

The force of the noise sent Hitteh Pitteh flying into the opposite wall. She lie slumped against the wall in a daze for about thirty seconds before snapping back into reality.

"What. The. Heck. Was. That." Hitteh Pitteh breathed in shock, repositioning her glasses which had slipped off of her face. There seemed to be no damage done to the house- just that deafening noise. What on earth could have made that sound? Unless...

"Hattarino..." Hitteh Pitteh growled under her breath, rising to her feet. He had obviously snuck into her medicine bottles! ARGH! There so were

many things she had to do and not enough time to do them! Every minute she spent thinking, was another minute they were at risk of every single natural disaster!

So, she would just have to ignore anything Hattarino used to distract her. Hitteh Pitteh HAD to get the job done. Sheesh. Why couldn't a NORMAL living egg have wanted to be a guest at her house? Not an adorable little trouble-maker?

**End Note: **Oh Moi! This chapter was on the short side, 'tweren't it? Don't worry! I'll update soon! Wow. This turned into a three-part story-thingie... I wanted it to only be two. Aw well, the third and final part of 'Qwnyah? It's Chaos' is coming soon! Then we'll get into another part of the story.

**Reveiwers DUN DUN DUUUUUN:**

_kuro-tanuki: _Yus, yus! We all loik cahir vury much so. I'll try to make him have a bit more parts, but all he does is growl! Maybe I should make him SPIN! Ooh yes! That 'twould be fun! Hattarino is indeed loik a little guinea pig! And I think that this WHOLE story is ridiculously stupid, so the solution 'twill be as well.

_Yexis Metallium: _Guh! I hope that nobody ever dies from stress! 'tis much too painful!

DUN DUN! Ooooooops, sorry! I just did another cliffhanger! I hope you don't die. That 'twould be vury sad. Oi would grieve for you... Uh-Oh! Of my ''tis' thing is killing you, then you're out of luck. It's slowly getting woooooooorse... And as for Hitteh Pitteh's grades- I'll have Yae-chan and I post them next time during the story...

Wow. This 'twas a VURY short chapter!


	6. Chapter 6: Qwnyah? It's Chaos! Part 3

**Hattarino is so Cute!**

**Chapter 6: Qwnyah? It's Chaos! (Part three)**

"And that about wraps it up!" Hitteh Pitteh concluded, exploding the last wild magical charms. Slumping against the wall as she wiped sweat from her forehead, Hitteh Pitteh realized in amazement that she had just used a high-level explosion spell over twenty times. No wonder she was so sweaty.

But this was no time to rest! Her work was far from done. Hitteh Pitteh had to create all twenty of the charms again and imprison them all! How in the world was she going to get the strength to cast all those charms! Hitteh Pitteh rubbed her temples, shutting her eyes from the stress.

BANG!

Hitteh Pitteh groaned as she was blasted against the wall by the loud sound. It didn't help that Hattarino was experimenting with her magical charms every two minutes. Before she recasted the natural disaster shields she would need to get Hattarino to stop playing with her loud-noise charms. Besides, she needed an assistant or else she would NEVER be able to cast all of the spells.

"OI! HATTARINO!" Hitteh Pitteh called, trying to catch him by surprise by opening the bathroom door without warning.

"ACK! I wasn't...uh... touching the medicine bottles," Hattarino mumbled, staring down at the medicine bottle full of loud-noise charms he had dropped in surprise. Hitteh Pitteh resisted the urge to laugh. He actually EXPECTED her to believe that? It was so cute!

"Kyuuuuuuute!" Hitteh Pitteh squealed, twirling around in an awkward circle as she was overwhelmed by the feelings inside of her. Hattarino waited patiently, stealing nervous glances at the medicine bottles he had dropped as Hitteh Pitteh spun.

"Anyways," Hitteh Pitteh continued, focusing her attention back on the current situation, "I need your help. I still have to cast all the magic spells and trap them in the cans."

"But how can I help? I don't know ANY magic at all!" Hattarino cried in surprise, staring at Hitteh Pitteh like she was unreasonable.

"In one of those medicine bottles there is a charm that restores energy. If I lose my footing or fall unconscious I need you to use it on me," Hitteh Pitteh explained, gently nudging the correct medicine bottle with her foot.

"Well... okay..." Hattarino replied doubtfully, retrieving the bottle from its place on the ground.

"Here goes..." Hitteh Pitteh breathed nervously, pale blue light swirling around her hands as she began her first spell.

_(**:Curtains are pulled back to reveal Miki-Chan and Yae-Chan:**_

_Miki-Chan: So, what are we explaining THIS time? Nothing is confusing. _

_Yae-Chan: You're a REALLY bad author! Don't you even remember the response to the reviewers section?_

_Miki-Chan: Nee-ope. _

_Yae-Chan: Geez! Well, anyways, you wrote that you were going to post Hitteh Pitteh's grades from the magic school. _

_Miki-Chan: Whaa-? OH YEAH! The grades, The grades! I remember now. Uh-huh... yeah... ha ha ha... I had no idea what you were talking about for a second...ha...ha..._

_Yae-Chan: Well, aren't you going to READ them now?_

_Miki-Chan: Eh? What do ya mean?_

_Yae-Chan: Fine. I'LL read them. :grabs report card:_

_Miki-Chan: Go ahead, then._

_Yae-Chan: 'Hitteh Pitteh was not one of the top graduating students at her magic school. She was actually pretty bad at magic.'_

_Miki-Chan: If she was so bad at magic, then why did she sound so darned COOL in the first chapter?_

_Yae-Chan: You're asking ME? You wrote this, remember?_

_Miki-Chan: Yeah, yeah... right then. Keep reading. _

_Yae-Chan: 'Her strengths are any spell that involves the use of a magic circle, and her weaknesses are any spell that you cast with just a wave of your hand.'_

_Miki-Chan: So? What were the grades?_

_Yae-Chan: Uh... Let's see: 'VADVDBHDBHBDDHKDH: D'_

_Miki-Chan: What does 'VADVDBHDBHBDDHKDH' mean?_

_Yae-Chan: What DOES it mean!_

_Miki-Chan: Oh yeah. I was too lazy to create cool-sounding words for the types of spells so I just did gibberish._

_Yae-Chan: So... could you translate the gibberish for us all?_

_Miki-Chan: Well, I don't remember what it was supposed to say..._

_Yae-Chan: EHHHHHH!_

_Miki-Chan: OH WAIT! I remember now!_

_Yae-Chan: ... --'_

_Miki-Chan: Hah hah hah... yeah._

_Yae-Chan:... Well?_

_Miki-Chan: OH RIGHT! The gibberish means those spells where she creates objects from thin air._

_Yae-Chan: Hitteh Pitteh got a 'D' in creating things out of thin air? She looked pretty good at it to me!_

_Miki-Chan: She messes up alot._

_Yae-Chan: The next one is: 'BFSFHBBHIFSBUSF: C'_

_Miki-Chan: That's the spell used for creating those powerful barriers from natural disasters._

_Yae-Chan: Hmm. The third one is: 'VGFHBKFHBSIYHR: F'_

_Miki-Chan: Those are attack spells._

_Yae-Chan: Her grades really stink, don't they?_

_Miki-Chan: Hey! Wizard school is hard!_

_Yae-Chan: And wait! Didn't she use an explosion spell in this and last chapter?_

_Miki-Chan: Oh yeah. That's a tiny bit different, since magic spells are easy to explode._

_Yae-Chan: Sounds more like a plot gap to me!_

_Miki-Chan: Just keep reading!_

_Yae-Chan: ...Okies, then. 'GSYWTFUESGUKSB: B-'_

_Miki-Chan: Those are the spells that are used for imprisoning spells in those cans. _

_Yae-Chan: Are you making this up as you go?_

_Miki-Chan: NO! What ever made you think that?_

_Yae-Chan: The next one is... BY GOLLY!_

_Miki-Chan: 'By golly'?_

_Yae-Chan: WE'RE HOGGING THE DARNED CHAPTER! IT'S NEARLY OVER!_

_Miki-Chan: Maybe we should continue this grade talk NEXT time?_

_Yae-Chan: I'll say! We NEED ta get outta here!_

_Miki-Chan: Whatever. It's because I needed this chapter to be seperate from the rest but the story itself only needed to be like, 200 words. I was stalling._

_Yae-Chan: Sheesh. Shameless. I don't believe irresponsible people like you! Sometimes, I-_

_Miki-Chan: Oh, Yaaaaae-chaaaaaan? You're hogging the story!_

_Yae-Chan: AAAAAACCCCCCK! Uh! Uhm! Bye?_

_**:curtains close: **)_

"Uhmmmmm... Don't you want the energy potion now, magician-sama?" Hattarino asked in concern, staring nervously at the panting magician.

"No...If I drink the potion now, all of my concentration will break and the whole spell will be ruined," Hitteh Pitteh explained.

"But... Won't you collapse if you don't drink it soon?" protested Hattarino, offering the figure crouched in exhaustion the bottle.

"Hattarino! I need a magic circle now!" Hitteh Pitteh abruptly commanded, her eyes squeezed shut in what appeared to be pain. The spells were harder on her than she had thought, but she had managed to complete them all. Now she just needed to imprison them. But there was no way Hitteh Pitteh could draw a magic circle while restraining all the new spells she had just created.

"Magic circle? How do you do that?" Hattarino asked, hopping nervoulsy from one foot to the other.

"Ghaagh!" Hitteh Pitteh bit her lip as pain raced through her body. Many magicians had been known to get seriously hurt and even die from over-using their magic. Hitteh Pitteh had felt pain like this while casting spells many time before, particularly when she had just been starting her magic classes.

But then she had always had teachers to rush to the rescue whenever she was in pain. But this time she didn't. And it didn't help that Hattarino had no idea how to draw a magic circle.

"Just... circle... with a star... in center...any size... will work..." Hitteh Pitteh gasped between her heavy breathing, feeling the spells beginning to slip from her grasp.

"I... think I can do this," Hattarino assured her, trying to keep calm. He guessed that he should use the special piece of chalk Hitteh Pitteh had placed in the area to draw the circle.

"Hurry! I'm losing them!" Hitteh Pitteh yelled in a panicked voice, grasping the air as if struggling to keep something in place.

"Okay!" Hattarino cried, lunging forward to grab the chalk. Swiftly, he drew the circle and star, trying to keep it as neat as possible under the circumstances. He hoped it would work and could do nothing but step back from the area and call out 'Ready!' in case Hitteh Pitteh still had her eyes shut.

"IMPRISON!" Hitteh Pitteh cast the charm hurriedly, slapping her hands down on the magic circle. The jumble of cans that Hitteh Pitteh had placed in the area lept into the air as if alive, seeming to go up in blue flames. Hattarino stared in amazement as the cans burned brightly for a few splendid seconds before clattering lifelessly to the ground.

"Wow! You're AMAZING, magician-sama!" Hattarino sighed, glancing back at Hitteh Pitteh. The magician gratefully let her exhausted body slip to the floor as she lost consciousness. Hatatrino's voice grew faint as the whole room faded to a misty shade of darkened gray and then, finally, black.

**End Note: **Thus, 'Qwnyah? It's Chaos!' comes to a much-awaited end. Did you like it? Hmmmm? Hmm? Does this count as a cliffy? It does, doesn't it? ARRRRGH! I've got to stop with the darned-ded cliffys! Anywyas, kinda a lame chappy for the time I spent on it, ne? I promise it will get better! I'm sorrrreeeeee! I'll update sooner this time, I promise! And on that note:

**TO THE REVEIWERS FROM HEAVEN: **

_vampire cuttlefish: _Awwww... sorry! Cahir didn't make an appearance in this chapter! He'll be in the next one, I promise! Yus yus, Hattarino is a trouble-y egg indeed-ums!

_Yexis Metallium: _I took forever to update, didn't I? I'll make up for it, though. I can update AGAIN soon since I already have the next chapter done! Yays! As for the answer to your question, the cans just released the SHEILDS, not the actual disasters. A lightning storm just happened to strike. Aw well, at least I posted the grades like I said I would... though they were a bit confusing grades. Next chappy I will post all the grades the NORMAL way so you won't DOI of confusion!


	7. Chapter 7: The Truth About Names!

**Hattarino is so Cute!**

**Chapter 7: The Truth About Names**

**Disclaimer: **When you wish upon a staaaaaar...Aw, cruddums! It'll never happen!

"Oi. Oi." Hitteh Pitteh could faintly hear Hattarino's voice. Where was she? AThe familiar surroundings of the hallway came slowly into view. And Hitteh Pitteh could numbly feel something poking her shoulder. Wait. Was Hattarino poking her with-?

"SHARP OBJECTS!" Hitteh Pitteh screeched as she instantly snapped fully awake. Hattarino was poking her with his sword again.

"Calm down!" Hattarino laughed, raising his arms above his head to prove that he meant her no harm with the sword.

"Sh-sh-Ow!" Hitteh Pitteh stopped in mid scream as pain pulsed through her entire body. She slumped back to the ground in defeat, gingerly rubbing the back of her head. Owch. She really had strained her self with those spells. She was sore all over.

"That's better," Hattarino commented, sitting cross-legged by Hitteh Pitteh's side.

"So, how long have I been out?" Hitteh Pitteh asked, still rubbing her throbbing head.

"I don't know. Only ten minutes, maybe. You just slipped out of consciousness. You had me worried, though," Hattarino explained, waving his chibi-fyed hand carelessly.

"Hmmmmm," Hitteh Pitteh responded, glancing across the room at the pile of fallen cans. So she had successfully imprisoned the spells. That was good. No wonder she was so tired. Her teachers had told Hitteh Pitteh many times that they weren't qualified to teach high-level imprisoning spells. Sure, anyone could trap a simple charm into a box or canister, but never many high-level charms at once. Hitteh Pitteh felt a proud smile curl across her lips. Not bad, if she did say so herself.

"Are you hungry? I could always fix something for you," Hattarino offered, still staring in deep concern at Hitteh Pitteh.

"No, No! That won't be necessary!" Hitteh Pitteh quickly assured him, embarrassed that he was worrying over her so much. She had simply fainted for a few minutes, it was nothing serious. Except...

Hitteh Pitteh jerked her arm weakly across the air and was responded with nothing but a sharp pain through her arm. Hattarino looked questioningly at her, so she explained herself.

"I'm too weak to use magic. Maybe I'll be able to by tomorrow night," Hitteh Pitteh sighed, leaning weakly on the wall. Great. She was practically powerless without her magic.

"Hmmmm. I see. So that's why my steak machine has stopped working," Hattarino remarked; then quickly added, "Have the charms stopped working as well?"

"No, no. The charms will work as long as their protective cans aren't destroyed. Promise me you won't destroy them again," Hitteh Pitteh groaned, fixing Hattarino with a pleading stare.

"...I promise," Hattarino reluctantly sighed, looking slightly disappointed.

"Good. That's better," Hitteh Pitteh breathed in relief, glad to have stopped Hattarino's trouble streak for the time being.

"So, about the steak machine... what are we going to eat?" Hattarino asked suddenly, his face falling as he realized his hunger.

"Ah! That's right. Remind me to go into town tomorrow to buy some lunch for both of us. By tomorrow night at the earliest I should get some of my magic back," Hitteh Pitteh requested, realizing how hunger she was herself.

"I'm not sure my stomach can wait until lunch," Hattarino explained, staring hungrily at the broken steak machine showing through the gap in the door to his room.

"The sooner we get some rest, the sooner we can get up and head to the grocery store," Hitteh Pitteh simply replied, crossing her arms across her chest.

"Don't you have food in the refrigerator or something?" Hattarino asked curiously.

"No. I don't have a fridge. My magic hasn't run out for at least six months. I used to have an emergency supply, but I got rid of it," Hitteh Pitteh explained, regretting this decision. Also, Cahir would be getting hungry. And a hungry Cahir was worse then instant death.

"I see. Shall we get some sleep, then?" Hattarino suggested.

"Right. See ya tomorrow, Hattarino," Hitteh Pitteh concluded, rising stiffly to her sore feet.

"See you tomorrow, magician-sama," Hattarino responded. Hitteh Pitteh froze in mid-limp.

" 'Magician-sama'?" She repeated, turning to face Hattarino, "Why are you calling me that?"

"I don't know what else to call you. Magicians don't have names," Hattarino explained, shrugging his shoulders. Hitteh Pitteh was surprised by his words. But looking back, did she ever tell him her name? No. How silly of her! Hitteh Pitteh was so used to living with only an evil rocking chair for company. So, naturally, she didn't know everything about life when it came to social topics.

"It's Hitteh Pitteh," Hitteh Pitteh informed him, blushing in shame at her stupidity.

"Hitteh... Pitteh..." Hattarino repeated, adjusting to the new word.

"Yep. That's my name. Magician-sama is way too... not 'me'! It makes me feel awkward," Hitteh Pitteh laughed.

"Hitteh Pitteh-sama!" Hattarino said again, more confidently this time.

"Right!" Hitteh Pitteh agreed, her brain threatening to have another cute attack.

"So magicians DO have names," Hattarino muttered, seeming to be deep in thought.

"Any reason why they shouldn't?" Hitteh Pitteh asked, startled by his logic.

"It's just... I thought they were just called 'magicians' and stuff. I didn't think that they actually had names," Hattarino mumbled, raising one eyebrow.

"Ha ha! Silly!" Hitteh Pitteh squealed, unable to resist enveloping Hattarino in a tight hug before twirling off to her room.

"Goodnight, Hitteh Pitteh-sama," Hattarino called after her, his voice a little shaken after the sudden bear hug.

"Hmmm. Yeah!" Hitteh Pitteh responded as she shut the door to her room. She heard Hattarino shut his own door seconds later.

"Today was a rough day, huh, Cahir?" Hitteh Pitteh sighed in contentment as she eased her sore body onto her fluffy bed. Cahir spun in enthusiastic circles, his favorite pastime since evil rocking chairs had no need for sleep. Hitteh Pitteh thought he was lucky that he never got dizzy.

"But fun," Hitteh Pitteh added, a wide grin stretched across her face. She was about to pull the covers over her body when she realized that she couldn't turn the light switch off with magic.

"You like company, right?" Hitteh Pitteh questioned, wearily rising from the bed and crossing the room. She patiently waited for an answering growl, but Cahir seemed much more interested in spinning then listening to her. Chuckling, Hitteh Pitteh flicked off the light and sprung back into bed as darkness consumed the room.

It was fun to finally have a guest in such a lonely house. Sure, Hattarino seemed to really love trouble, and had a disagreeable personality. But he was still great company and Hitteh Pitteh thought he was unbearably adorable despite all the trouble he had caused. Yep. It was going to be an interesting time simply walking to the grocery store tomorrow.

_(**:Curtains are pulled back to reveal Miki-Chan and Yae-Chan**_

_Miki-Chan: WHATIS UP WITH THIS? The chapter is already OVER and this is our first appearance._

_Yae-Chan: Well, you know, this story is SUPPOSED to be about only Hitteh Pitteh and Hattarino._

_Miki-Chan: Awwww... they get ALL the fun! _

_Yae-Chan: So, shall we do what we came here to do?_

_Miki-Chan: The grades? I guess..._

_Yae-Chan: I got Miki-Chan to fully translate all the junky gibberish so it shouldn't be so stupid this time. _

_Miki-Chan: I'm ignoring Yae-Chan's insults. Here are the grades:_

_'Creating objects from thin air: D_

_Natural disaster barriers: C_

_Attack spells: F_

_Imprisoning spells: B_

_Magic circles: A_

_Transporting spells: F_

_Summoning spells: B_

_Written work: A'_

_Yae-Chan: Wow. She's AWFUL! How did she become a magically magical magician?_

_Miki-Chan: You have to understand. These are all of the EXTRA ADVANCED classes! It was VERY hard to get an 'A' on any of them- and Hitteh Pitteh got two._

_Yae-Chan: So this is all the kinds of magic she knows?_

_Miki-Chan: No, no! Hitteh Pitteh knows MUCH more types. She just studied those AFTER she graduated. _

_Yae-Chan: So, should we leave the stage now?_

_Miki-Chan: Why? Can't we, like, hang out or something?_

_Yae-Chan: Why? Are job is to explain CONFUSING things to people! We have no more reason to be here!_

_Miki-Chan: But, it seems a waste of a perfectly good chapter to just leave._

_Yae-Chan: Well... What do you want to do, then?_

_Miki-Chan: I dunno..._

_Yae-Chan: You're so clueless it makes me sick!_

_Miki-Chan: OH! I KNOW!_

_Yae-Chan: What? Have you finally decided to wrap this up and write chapter 8?_

_Miki-Chan: NO! LET'S CARVE... JACK-O-LANTERNS!_

_Yae-Chan: EH! _

_Miki-Chan: COME ON! Let's carve 'em up good 'n scary! Then we can light candles inside 'em and they'll be, like, 'BWAAAAA!' and be all scary and they'll scare ugly stalkers who try to steak inside my house and other stuff._

_Yae-Chan: Run on sentence!_

_Miki-Chan: You're no fun!_

_Yae-Chan: Go carve jack-o-lanterns on your own time instead of forcing the poor readers to read this!_

_Miki-Chan: Fine! Maybe I will!_

_Yae-Chan: Okay, then!_

_Miki-Chan: Wait!_

_Yae-Chan: What?_

_Miki-Chan: Do you have seventy-five cents?_

_Yae-Chan: Yeah. Why?_

_Miki-Chan: LET'S GO HANG OUT AT EL BIG EM!_

_Yae-Chan: 'El Big Em'!_

_Miki-Chan: Y'know? McDonalds._

_Yae-Chan: But... but... they stopped selling the awesome soda!_

_Miki-Chan: Ah, but not in Hitteh Pitteh's world. You comin' or what?_

_Yae-Chan: Sounds like a plan!_

_**:Curtains close:**)_

**End Note: **HEH HEH HEH! Hitteh Pitteh and Hattarino's relationship deepens! Yay! But not fluff! Friendship vibes!

_vampire cuttlefish: _ ACK! DON'T FALL OFF THE CLIFF! I'm sorry that this update took so long! Bwaaaaaaa! Cahir was in this chapter! Yay! I'll try to add him in the next one, as well!

_Yexis Metallium: _Thos explanatory things are FUN to read! Wow. I thought that they were an annoyance! Shows how much I know! Hitteh Pitteh won't kill herself. She never, ever, ever will! Unless... something BAD happens! Oh moi! I'd better keep an eye on her. And I have... sorta plans for cahir in the next chapter...


	8. Chapter 8: No Magic! Part 1

**Hattarino is so Cute!**

**Chapter 8: No Magic! Is this really worth the trouble? (Part 1) **

**Disclaimer: **NO, DARNIT! Why do I have to admit this painful truth for the eighth time!

"Oi. Oiiiiiii?" Hattarino's impatient voice wouldn't let Hitteh Pitteh get her sleep peacefully. Arrrgh! It was so irritating! Why couldn't a hard-working magician get a decent night's sleep! It just wasn't fair.

"Oi! Hitteh Pitteh-sama?" Hattarino's persistent voice repeated for the thirty-seventh time. Believe me, she had been counting. She moaned and rolled over, trying to drown out the voice.

"OIIIII! HITTEH PITTEH!" Hattarino yelled, jabbing Hitteh Pitteh with the tip of his sword. Wait... sword?

"SHARP OBJECTSSSSS!" Hitteh Pitteh screeched, leaping out of bed in a dramatic reflex.

"Sorry I had to do that," Hattarino sighed apologetically, sheathing his sword, "But I've been calling you for the past ten minutes!"

"How'd you get in here! I thought I put a locking charm on this door," Hitteh Pitteh muttered, staring suspiciously at the door.

"...Uh... well... I guess there wasn't one since I could get in..." Hattarino murmured, staring at Hitteh Pitteh like she was stupid.

"Darnitall! Why did the charm come off! LOCK!" Hitteh Pitteh swiped her hand through the air, expecting to see the familiar green beam shoot from her hand and hit the doorknob. But she was instead greeted with an overwhelming wave of pain. She collapsed on the bed, wondering why her magic hadn't worked.

"Do you always lose your memory over the night or something? Your magic won't work until late tonight or tomorrow morning," Hattarino explained. Hitteh Pitteh suddenly remembered the busy night from before.

"Aw... That's why. Then I suppose that you came in here to ask if we could leave for the store?" Hitteh Pitteh questioned, stiffly rising into a seating position.

"Mmm-hmm! Mmm-hmm! I really crave the taste of steak! I can't wait much longer," Hattarino squealed, hopping up and down impatiently.

"Can't you just survive without food for one day! Do you know how long it takes ta get to the grocery store?" Hitteh Pitteh asked, leaning lazily against the bed's head rest.

"Nooooooooo! Hattarino can't survive without food!" Hattarino whined, bouncing on the bed impatiently.

"But I'm sore all over! I'll KILL my feet walking to the store!" Hitteh Pitteh complained, rubbing one of her heels tenderly.

"No worries! We can ride on Cahir-sama!" Hattarino suggested brightly, pointing to the still-spinning Cahir.

"CAHIR! But... how do you know his name?" Hitteh Pitteh asked curiously.

"I talked with him a bit this morning. He can understand me, although I don't speak rocking chair," Hattarino explained.

"But he won't work without breakfast. And we have no candy corns!" Hitteh Pitteh pointed out. Hattarino thought about this before answering.

"Maybe he'll work for free?" Hattarino suggested, shrugging doubtfully. Cahir, oblivious to the conversation they were having, continued spinning around in his corner of the room.

"Doubt it," Hitteh Pitteh answered bluntly, miming his shrug.

"OIIIIII! OIIIIII! CAHIR-SAAAAAAN!" Hattarino called. The chair broke out of his spinning cycle and faced Hattarino, rocking back and forth restlessly.

"Can you take us to the grocery store? I'll buy you some candy corn?" Hattarino coaxed. Cahir seemed to be considering this.

"YOU have money to buy candy corn!" Hitteh Pitteh asked in amazement.

"No! YOU'RE going to buy it for him, Hitteh Pitteh-sama!" Hattarino explained, giving her one of the 'you're-the-stupidest-person-in-the-world' looks.

"ME! And how much money do ya think I have? All I have is couple of monies that I created before I lost my magic!" Hitteh Pitteh protested, glaring at the troublesome egg.

"Would you rather walk all the way to the grocery store AND back!" Hattarino hissed.

"Well, n-no... but..." Hitteh Pitteh stammered, caught off guard by this question.

_(**:Curtains are drawn back to reveal Miki-Chan and Yae-Chan:**_

_Miki-Chan: Ahhhh... that was a great soda at El Big Em's!_

_Yae-Chan: Yes, it was. But we were there for a long time..._

_Miki-Chan: Yeah! Wasn't it fun? So... should we get started on Chapter eight? _

_Yae-Chan: You mean you didn't finish chapter eight before we left!_

_Miki-Chan: NO!_

_Yae-Chan: But... but... you've kept the readers waiting for so long!_

_Miki-Chan: Aw, who cares about them. What's our next explanation- thingie?_

_Yae-Chan: Look at me and listen CLOSELY!_

_Miki-Chan: Eh?_

_Yae-Chan: I DID NOT WRITE THIS BOOK; YOU SHOULD BE THE ONE TO KNOW THESE THINGS!_

_Miki-Chan: Okay, okay! Sheesh! Some people these days..._

_Yae-Chan: So... what are we explaining?_

_Miki-Chan: The money system in Hitteh Pitteh's universe._

_Yae-Chan: Okay. Let's check in the book!_

_Miki-Chan: **:pulls 'Miki-Chan's Confusing Explanations' from her kimono sleeve: **Here we go... Ahem..._

_'Chapter 1,820: The Money System'_

_Yae-Chan: So many chapters!_

_Miki-Chan: Yeah, but each chapter is only, like a paragraph long!_

_'The coins AND bills in the money system are all called, 'Monies'. There are three different kinds of coins. The blue ones, which are equivalent to half of a penny. The yellow ones, which are equivalent to a whole penny. And the red ones, which are worth a penny and a half. There is only on bill (which is rainbow-colored). It is worth about twenty bucks!'_

_Yae-Chan: That's the stupidest money system I've ever heard of!_

_Miki-Chan: Well, if I would have just said: 'Yae-Chan, what is your opinion about Hitteh Pitteh's money system?' then it would have been appropriate for you to say that nasty little comment. But I didn't. So that means that that was a bad, bad, meanie thing that you just said. _

_Yae-Chan: **:sweatdrop:**_

_Miki-Chan: Besides, I think that that money system ROCKS THIS WORLD!_

_Yae-Chan: Who says, 'ROCKS THIS WORLD' anymore? ''Tis' is the total rage right now!_

_Miki-Chan: 'Tis? _

_Yae-Chan: Yeah. 'Tis! EVERYONE says 'tis right now! Why... even Mr. Policeman say 'Tis!_

_Miki-Chan: Mr... Policeman?_

_Yae-Chan: Yeeeeees... you know Mr. Policeman... riiiiiiiiight?_

_Miki-Chan: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH! **:wakes up screaming:**_

_Miki-Chan: Oh... it was jut a baaaaad dream. A very bad dream. Phewf... Sheesh! I always say 'tis, so I knew that something was wrong. At least the money system was explained though..._

_**Do not ask me to explain that last explanation thingie. You shall never know who Mr. Policeman really is, or why he is so baaaaaad as well. So enjoy your life wondering... wondering about this puzzling explanation. **)_

After a little bit of thought, Cahir agreed to let Hitteh Pitteh and Hattarino ride him to the grocery store. The only problem was:

"I'm going to die," Hitteh Pitteh stated, flopping on her baggy, leather chair in defeat.

"Why?" Hattarino asked, jumping into the comfortable chair beside her. Cahir had bounced after them down the stairs and was now spinning in eagerly, almost able to taste the candy corn that was soon to come.

"Cahir doesn't 'walk' or 'bounce'. He SPINS," Hitteh Pitteh groaned.

"So?" Hattarino was still unable to see what she was so worked up about.

"I get dizzy. VERY EASILY," Hitteh Pitteh explained, shooting him a killer look of death-ness.

"Awwww... I see," Hattarino answered shortly, "Just deal with it."

"C-cruuuuuuuel..." Hitteh Pitteh moaned in a voice filled with dismay, slowly oozing off of the leather chair, consumed entirely by a gloom-cloud.

"Oi. OI?" Hattarino called, sighing as he realized that Hitteh Pitteh had once again slipped out of consciousness. He considered splashing a bucket of water over her, but what was the fun in that? Hattarino held his sword in front of him, a tiny smile curving across his mouth from behind the stick held in his mouth. Hitteh Pitteh sure was funny.

**End Note: **I'M SOOOOOORRRRYYY! I took so darned long for this teeny little scramble of words that MIGHT even be worth being called a chapter. Anyways, I'll try to be faster this time. Let's start off with a bang now:

**Response to Readers WITH A BANG: **

_Yexis Metallium: _Eh, plans? What plans? Anyways, I didn't update very fast, huh? Oh well... don't kill me or anything. Wow. Everyone likes Cahir. I thought that people would... like him. But not be all fangirly-ish over him. Oh, well. Rocking chairs rock this world (there I go with rock this world- 'tis is all the rage now, ya know!)

And as for the plot... well... it's just adventures, basically. There might be a part of the story at the end that's a little more serious and plotty, but not TOO serious and plotty. So, yeah.

_vampire cuttlefish: _Staek flavored candy? Bwah hah hah! Anyways, I shouldn't have made Hattarino so steak obsessed. He only wanted steak once, and besides, he was eating these dumpling things with all the other eggs in, like, disk four. So he says, "ze yo", huh? Well, that's cool, but I have no word to tie it onto, so I can't add that after every sentence.

**T-T-T-T-TILL NEXT TIME!**


End file.
